There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
