I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
