Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
