Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
