Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You may now shotgun with the bride
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
