Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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