So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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