plz talk dirty to me
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
