bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
