But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
