Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Rumble strips road head = magical
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
