hell yes lets make some ravioli
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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