He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
