You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
