fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
