Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
wanna go halves on a baby?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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