So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
