Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
