But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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