How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
