Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
