therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Found your dick twin last night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
