i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
