ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i wish my penis had a tongue
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
