Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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