also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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