hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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