4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I need water and some morals
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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