He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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