It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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