yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
