Having a random hookup so left but love u
she woke up with a sticky ear
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it glows. i had to have it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
They took my balls.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
