You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
