Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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