Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
