I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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