If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
