Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
