im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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