I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
