He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
