I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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