I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
