doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
