At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
