I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
