It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
