dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
