Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
