No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
