i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
